From Overwhelmed to Grounded: Practical Emotion Regulation Skills

What is emotion regulation?

When deep or intense emotions feel activated, it can feel dysregulating- like your system is overwhelmed, reactive, or out of control. This dysregulation is often rooted in what’s happening in the brain: an over-activation of the amygdala (often referred to as the “emotion brain”) and an under-activation of the prefrontal cortex (the “logic brain”).

When the amygdala is highly activated, it scans for threat and reacts quickly, sometimes before we’ve had a chance to think things through. At the same time, the prefrontal cortex - which helps with reasoning, decision-making, and perspective-taking, can go offline. This is why, in intense emotional moments, it can feel hard to think clearly, communicate effectively, or respond in a way that aligns with your values.

The goal of emotion regulation is not to eliminate emotions or “calm down” as quickly as possible.

Emotions serve an important purpose: they provide information, signal needs, and help us respond to our environment. Instead, the goal is to create enough balance in the nervous system so that the prefrontal cortex can come back online and work alongside the emotional brain, rather than being overridden by it.

Research suggests that effective emotion regulation involves three core processes:

• Disengaging from the intensity of the emotion

• Interrupting the cycle of rumination

• Re-engaging with the situation in a more adaptive way (Naragon-Gainey et al., 2017)

Why emotion regulation matters

Emotion regulation is a foundational skill that impacts nearly every area of life: relationships, work, parenting, and overall mental health. Without regulation tools, intense emotions can lead to impulsive reactions, avoidance, or getting stuck in cycles of overthinking. With practice, regulation allows for more intentional responses, improved communication, and a greater sense of control and resilience.

It’s also important to note that emotion regulation is not about doing this perfectly. It’s a skill that is built over time, often through small, repeated moments of noticing, pausing, and choosing a different response.

How to build this foundation of emotion regulation:

When deep or intense emotions feel activated, try these three steps:

1. Grounding the body

Start with the body. When emotions are high, your nervous system is activated- so the first step is helping your body feel safe enough to settle.

Grounding exercises can include:

• Slow, intentional breathing (for example, inhaling for 4, exhaling for 6)

• Holding or touching something soothing (a textured object, a blanket, a piece of jewelry)

• Placing your feet firmly on the ground and noticing your surroundings

• Physical connection, like a hug from a trusted person

Grounding signals to your nervous system that you are safe, which can begin to reduce the intensity of the emotional response and make space for clearer thinking.

2. Naming the emotion

Once your body is slightly more settled, try putting words to what you’re feeling. This might sound simple, but it’s a powerful step.

Research shows that labeling emotions (“I feel anxious,” “I feel overwhelmed,” “I feel disappointed”) helps activate the prefrontal cortex and reduce amygdala reactivity. In other words, naming the emotion helps shift your brain out of pure reactivity and into awareness.

If it’s hard to find the exact word, start broadly and get more specific:

• “I feel bad” → “I feel stressed” → “I feel overwhelmed and pressured”

This step helps interrupt rumination and creates a small but important sense of distance from the emotion.

3. Reappraisal (reframing the thought)

After grounding and naming, you can begin to gently shift your perspective.

Reappraisal doesn’t mean forcing positivity or dismissing your experience. Instead, it’s about finding a more balanced, realistic way to view the situation.

For example:

• “This is a horrible situation and everything feels wrong”
  → “This situation is really frustrating and uncomfortable, and I can get through it”

• “I completely messed this up”
  → “I made a mistake, and I can learn from it”

Reappraisal helps you re-engage with the situation in a way that supports problem-solving, flexibility, and self-compassion.

Putting it all together

Emotion regulation is not a one-time fix, it’s a process. In moments of intensity, you might move through these steps multiple times, or only get through one of them. That’s okay.

Over time, practicing grounding, naming, and reframing helps strengthen your ability to pause, respond intentionally, and move through emotions rather than feeling stuck in them.

The goal isn’t to stop feeling, it’s to feel in a way that is manageable, meaningful, and aligned with how you want to show up.

If this resonates with you, the therapists at Newbury Counseling & Consulting are here to support you. Together, we can help you learn and implement coping skills to aid in emotional regulation and beyond!

Reach out today to schedule your free consultation and start this new chapter with steady support.

This blog was written by Abigail Serafin, LCSW for Newbury Counseling & Consulting 2026